Daydreaming
by Astraeas Dreams
Summary: When did Sarek and the Caretaker meet for the first time? Depends on the story 'After The Credits: Acting Out Fantasies' by Ster Julie.


**Daydreaming **

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Star Trek or any of its characters. They all are owned by Paramount. The original idea to this story came from "AFTER THE CREDITS: Acting Out Fantasies" by Ster Julie, who kindly gave me the permission to write this piece. The story itself is mine! But I make no money with this.

Special thanks to Ster Julie for beta-reading and encouragement.

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Sarek slowly walked through the heat of the Vulcan evening. He could have used the transporter to get from the spaceport to his estate but he didn't. He needed the time to think about the things that happened just about two days ago. The walk home to his wife usually gave him the opportunity to do so, but it didn't seem to work this time because his thoughts seemed to be elsewhere. They always returned to Spock and the words the boy said while he thought the person he talked to was just a holographic image of his father. The words had touched him deeply. There were so many things Sarek wished to tell his son. But he couldn't. That blue garment called a uniform took care that this was to be an impossible task, at least for now. But his hope that there would be a day where the both of them could talk about all the things they wanted and needed to, remained.

Lost in his thoughts and his memories Sarek almost did not realize that he reached his family's estate. The Vulcan stopped for a moment and looked at the house where Amanda was waiting for his return. He knew she was slightly worried. He felt it through their bond. He knew it since he left for this "mission". It was not unusual to his wife that he sometimes had to go on trips to distant planets without the possibility of accompanying him, but this time Amanda felt somehow that there was something different. Sarek had been quite relieved, that his wife hadn't asked him anything about this trip. He was not really certain what he should have told her if she had. He had no interest in telling her some lies, but he knew that wouldn't have told her the truth about his intentions. But Amanda was his wife for almost forty years now. In this time she had learned when to ask and when to keep silent. Sarek hoped that Amanda would decide not to ask, when he came to her in a few minutes. It wouldn't be good for her – and in the end it wouldn't be good for him – to know how he cheated on his son. She would never understand just like she never understood why he had to act the way he did for almost eighteen years.

Sarek shook his head in an almost imperceptible manner and went through the gate in front of him. When he approached the house, the door openend and his wife stood there waiting for him. The smile on Amanda's face welcomed him to their home. She stretched her paired fingers out to him and he returned the gesture. He opened the bond between them and heard or rather felt all the things she said to him without saying a word while touching her fingers. A small half-smile that was only meant for her appeared on his face. He knew she loved to see this smile on his face and when they were alone he saw no reason to withhold it from her at some times.

"Welcome home, my husband. I hope your journey was successful."

"It was indeed successful, my wife."

"So let's go out of the heat. Would you like to have endmeal right now?"

"I would prefer to mediate first."

"All right. Then I'll see you later, Sarek."

Amanda smiled again at her husband. Sarek watched as his wife turned around and and went to his study to check over his computer terminal for any messages. After that he changed his clothing and entered the garden. He took a look around and went to a bench that stood next to a desert plant. In some ways, it looked like a crippled tree. The plant threw enough shadow on the bench so that there was the opportunity to sit outside. Sarek sat down, closed his eyes and tried to find his center. Normally this was not a problem to the Vulcan. He learned the techniques he used when he was a child and remembered only a few times when he was not able to mediate successfully.

A few moments later, the Vulcan found his center and concentrated on the events at the Omicron Delta system. He knew that he made the right decision to meet his son incognito. There had been no other way to see him at this time. The real question that occupied his mind was another one. Why did the Caretaker – Sarek didn't even know his real name, let alone if that man has an other name than Caretaker – contact him and inform him about his son's planned visit on his world? How could he know that Sarek had longed for a chance to see his son? Yes, the Caretaker told him that his little charade was not something that was usually done, but his explanation that he and the planet still owed him for his ministrations many years ago seemed quite logical, or did it? Sarek's first recollection of being on this planet controlled by the being called the Caretaker came unvoluntarily back into his mind. First Sarek tried to turn away mentally from this memory, but he failed. So he allowed himself to go to another place and to another time more than forty years ago.

---ooo---

_The shuttle shuddered like a fighting animal while it passed through the atmospheric turbulences. The passengers sat on their seats grateful for the hard grip of the locking mechanism around their bodies, Vulcan diplomats or not. It was clear that they all would be more satisfied, if they could have waited with the trip to the planet until the atmospheric storm was gone. But the negotiations were scheduled for that day and it would be improper to postpone them. Especially because the delegation the Federation had sent to the Omicron Delta system had no idea of the thing to come or even what these negotiations were about. _

_Next to one of the side windows one of the passengers had fixed his eyes to the storm outside the vessel. Sarek seemed really fascinated of the beautiful but extremely dangerous sight the universe presented on the other side of the shuttle's hull. No one could know that the Vulcan senior diplomat did not realize anything of the beauty outside. His thoughts were caught by a probably more distracting thing in his life. No, it was not exactly a thing he mused about, it was a woman. And if he had to specify his problem, he had to add that she was a human woman. But he would not add this, nor any other thing, because he had absolutely no reason to breathe a word to anyone. _

_He was torn from his daydreaming with a hard jump of the shuttle as it left the atmosperical turbulence and began landing procedures at the scheduled coordinates. What there was to expect on the planet was still unknown to the diplomatic team. Of course there had been some questions in regards to that matter but Sarek hadnt been given any answers. So he just had some rare information. There had been a request for a competent neutral person in the negotiations between two parties to the diplomatic corps of the Federation, but there were no details what those negotiations were about or even who were the participants. Those responsible within the diplomatic corps had deliberated on the issue for a quite long time. In the end they decided to send a Vulcan team for that challenge. So Sarek and his staff were on the way to the place they had been told to wait for further instructions. With a slight shudder, the shuttle landed in a place that looked like a green meadow with some small hills - very earth-like. Outside of the vessel seemed to be no sign of a living person or anything else. There was just that calming green landscape._

_Sarek decided to wait for several minutes before leaving the shuttle. Then he moved his head slight, opened the shuttle's door and left it, followed by his staff. The Vulcans looked around but still there was no one to see who could tell them anything about the negotiations that they were there to attend to. He told his staff to stay near the shuttle and went a few steps ahead to take a better look around. Suddenly Sarek heard an unknown voice from behind. _

"_So you are the one to lead our parties through the negotiations."_

_He spun around a little bit more quickly than he usual did and looked in the eyes of a human-looking male. Behind that male stood a human looking woman in yellow. Some feathers were in her hair and on her bosom were some small puring animals that reminded him of a longhaired kind of terran rodents humans call 'guinea-pigs'. Sarek said nothing and waited for the man to introduce himself. He didn't need to wait long._

"_I'm the Caretaker." _

"_My name is Sarek."_

"_I know. I will bring you to your place. Please come with me."_

"_I should inform my staff now."_

"_They won't accompany us. It is you who will lead the negotiations."_

_Sarek was not sure why it was like it was but a part of him told him in this moment that something was very strange on this planet. He allowed himself to take another look around and stopped immediately. His whole surrounding has somehow changed and he was absolutely sure that they neither walked a long way nor used any kind of transporter. Now he saw a mountain landscape. He also couldn't see the shuttle or one of the other members of his staff. The man who called himself Caretaker stopped too, turned around and smiled slightly when he noticed that his companion didn't follow him anymore, but he gave no explanation. He knew exactly what the Vulcan thought but in this moment there was no need to tell him more about this world. First he had to make sure that the diplomat would make it to the negotiations and then he would hope that the Vulcan would bring them to a positive result which was vital to his planet. _

"_Where are the shuttle and my staff?"_

"_Don't worry. They are all right, I promise. But they are not needed now."_

"_I think, it would..."_

"_No, it wouldn't be better if they were here. Believe me, everything is all right. And before you are going to ask: We changed the look of our surrounding. You may have some more information later. Come on now, please. We have to go to your place. After that, you may ask anything you want. I have every trust in your abilities."_

_Sarek lifted one of his brows but said nothing. He asked himself why this man trusted him thus although he didn't know him. He walked on and followed the man again. After a few minutes the Caretaker suddenly stopped in front of a large building. He made a movement with his hand leading into the building_

"_Here we are. I will see you later."_

"_I beg your pardon, but where exactly are we? And I need some information about that negotiations now."_

"_As I told you, here we are. Take a look around. I hope the locality is to your liking."_

_Sarek just looked away for a few seconds from the Caretaker, but when he tried to concentrate on his companion again and ask him once again for more information, he found himself alone. The Vulcan decided to follow the instructions he was given and went into the building. There he stood in a wide hall. He looked around but it seemed that he was still alone. So he went to one of the windows. Again the landscape outside had changed. Now he saw a red desert that reminded him strongly of his homeworld. Sarek allowed himself to think of Vulcan for a moment. He has not been there for more than two years and sometimes he longed to see his homeworld again. But he was the Vulcan ambassador on Terra. He should not indulge in fantasies like this. Now thinking of Terra he could not prevent to muse again about the Terran woman named Amanda Grayson he met at the embassy a few months ago. _

_She had been employed as a teacher for the embassy to help the staff to improve their English. He for his part didn't go to these courses. His speaking abilities were good enough. But after all he heard about her, he had decided to get to know her. From the moment he first spoke with her, Sarek was fascinated by that Terran female. She was quite young for a human, and had considerable education for someone of her years. But when Sarek made some discreet inquiry he found out that this Amanda Grayson was said to be a very gifted linguist and that the embassy could consider itself lucky for getting her as a part of its staff. After talking several times with her, the ambassador asked her for some private lessons to improve and enlarge his vocabulary for he found out that it was quite difficult to find another reason to go to her department and just talk to her without being watched quizzically or even met her somewhere else by chance. So Sarek went twice a week to her office to have his private lessons. She often smiled at him and he discovered that he missed that smile when the lessons were over and he had to wait for the next one because, outside of that appointment, he seldom met her. He also discovered that he often thought of her when he should be thinking about other things. Sometimes, what he never – and never was really meant to be never – would admit to anyone, he actually thought of what could be if there ever was more between the two of them. Of course he knew that this was nonsense but he still fantasized about it. Amanda Grayson was in his thoughts and although he knew he couldn't have her in reality, he couldn't prevent himself from thinking about having her in his dreams._ _Especially when he thought back a few minutes Sarek wondered what Miss Grayson would look like in that yellow outfit the woman with that guinea pig-like animals wore. The imaginary picture of that made him feel strangely warm. _

_Something drew Sarek suddenly out of his thoughts. Again he heard a voice somewhere behind him. Sarek straightened his body and turned around. No one was there, but the hall had changed its interior. Before it had been a wide and empty hall, now there were a big table made of stone, several seats on the smaller sides of the table and one single seat between the two sides. The Vulcan briefly wondered if he really didn't hear anything of that changings but he knew his advanced hearing. He could swear he heard absolutely nothing but the voice that spoke to him agin at that moment._

"_We are here now. The other side will also arrive soon."_

_Sarek looked around another time. From the place he stood he could look over the whole hall. Except for himself, there was no one to be seen. He didn't move and kept on looking around. The voice he heard sounded also quite strange, like it was from everywhere around and not from a single speaker._

"_All parties have arrived at this place," said the voice. "If you are ready, we can begin with the negotiations. Go to your place, please. You shall take the one in the middle."_

"_I beg your pardon, but I cannot see you."_

"_Oh yes, you can.", the disembodied voice retorted calmly, "Just take another look around."_

_The Vulcan did as he was instructed to do and saw indeed something. The seat at the sides of the table were occupied some beings. Sarek was not able to see if they were humanoid or something else. In fact he was not able to see what they really looked like. He just saw some swirling figures that were more then shadow but less than real persons with flesh and blood. Sarek took a deep breath of air and went to the seat that was meant to be his. While he sat the voice spoke again but this time it sounded not like before._

"_We all agree with the Caretaker to accept you for this negotiations. We do not know why he decided to take you but this was his choice. We will make sure that anything discussed at this meeting will stay between us."_

_ooo_

_He felt warmth on his skin. It was not an unpleasant feeling. But then he remembered where he was. Sarek opened his eyes but he was not anymore in the wide hall. He sat on a flat rock in that green landscape where he had been before. The sun shone on his face and he was alone. Sarek left his place on the rock and made a few steps forward. He felt as if he woke up out of a strange dream. For a moment he thought that he had just dreamed everything but he remebered it so clearly. No, he didn't remember quite everything. The last thing he knew was the voice telling him that everything would be kept between the beings in the hall and from then on there was emptiness in his mind. The Vulcan tried to concentrate on the missing part of his memory but there was nothing to find. Wasn't it perhaps possible that he really dreamt about the things? Now that he could not recall the facts he wasn't sure anymore. Then he heard again a voice from behind. When he turned around he saw the Caretaker again. Behind the man there stood the woman in yellow again. _

"_So you are back again, Sarek. I'm very satisfied with your negotiation abilities. The results of your work were vital to this planet. To be honest, I did not think that we would get such a positive result when I first saw you but you did very well. And I was very astonished that you accomplished so much in so short a time. I had estimated you would need several days at least and not just eighteen hours."_

"_Eighteen hours? I have to admit that I don't remember anything. What was this all about?"_

"_Things as they are now are for your own good. You may believe me," the Caretaker smiled mildly._

_Sarek sighed._

"_What shall I tell the Federation and my staff about this negotiation where I have been for the last hours without telling them something I don't know?"_

"_I informed your staff about seventeen hours ago that you were already stuck in negotiations, And about your Federation... just tell them that you're not allowed to talk about anything. This isn't actually a lie. We made sure that you really cannot tell anything."_

"_Then everything is in order?"_

"_Yes, it is. You may go back to your shuttle and your staff now. You will find them when you walk in that direction." The Caretaker pointed to a small hill next to Sarek. "But there is just one more thing. I would like to thank you for your ministrations."_

"_There is no need to thank me for the things I did. It seems it was logical to help you."_

"_No, it was not. I know what you were thinking about when you look her." The Caretaker nodded in the direction where the woman in yellow stood. "You may have her if you want."_

"_No! This is absolutely impossible. I should go now!"_

"_Wait, Sarek. You don't understand. You may even have what you want in that dress. You just have to think at it."_

"_I'm afraid I don't understand the meaning of your words."_

"_Of course you do. You just don't want to. You may have her, the woman in your thoughts. Think about my proposal and act as you wish. And don't be afraid. That's just fantasy. She is not real." The Caretaker paused for a few seconds while looking straight into Sareks eyes, "I will leave you now. I'm sure you'll come back to our planet once you understand. You will be a welcome guest and friend."_

_Then the Caretaker was gone and Sarek stood with the woman in yellow on the green meadow. The woman watched him curiously. He turned to her and looked at her too. She smiled seductively._

"_So, Sarek. What do you want?"_

---ooo---

Sarek returned to reality. He realized that he had not really meditated. It was not that he ever planed to tell this to anyone, but he had to confess that he had been daydreaming. It just seemed to be such an unvulcan characteristic. Sometimes, when he felt undisturbed, he allowed himself to dream away for a while. But now it was over. He was back in his world with more questions than answers, just like always. Obviously there were some things all around the universe he would never understand. After his first encounter with the Caretaker, he returned quite often to that planet. It didn't take much time to become friends with that being, but still he didn't know what or with whom he negotiated so many years ago or even why that negotiations were vital to the Caretaker's planet. Of course he asked more then once but he never got an answer. Sometimes he had the distinct feeling that he could take the answer directly out of his mind but when he tried it was like holding sand in his hands. The answer just slipped away.

Again he shook his head. His eyes turned forward and he fixed them on the red glowing of the sunset that burned over the desert and Amanda's garden. The dying sun threw its beams directly through the east gate. That sight reminded him of the mental note the made two days ago. He left his cool place and went for some fresh water to replenish the stone jar at the gate. The moment he finished his task, he stood absolutely still. Someday the boy would come home. And until this time Sarek would take care that the water was fresh. While musing about his son, Sarek noticed a noise behind. He turned around and looked directly into the face of his wife who stood there and watched him thinking.

"One credit for your thoughts, my husband," she told him with that smile on her face he knew so well.

"Why would you pay for something you can have for free?" he answered in a tone any other than Amanda would have interpreted as cold and humourless, but she knew better.

"You seem sentimental."

"Sentimental, my wife?"

"Yes, sentimental. I know, I promised you not to discuss our son, but why the hell have you replenished that water almost every day since he left?" Amanda rolled her blue eyes and sighed, "You have never answered that question of mine for almost eighteen years and I'm quite sure you won't do it now! And you are really asking why I would like to... Ah, forget about that. But you could tell me anything about your recent trip."

"I'm afraid I cannot do that, my wife."

"Of course."

"But I could tell you something else. I was reassured that everything will be ready for our trip next month," Sarek said to his wife, watching her eyes shine in anticipation.

"Maybe I should forgive that odd behaviour you are showing now and again."

"I'm not showing any kind of..."

"Shh! Oh yes, my dear, you are! And you'd better not dare to contradict!"

"But I must insist on saying..."

"No, please. But there's another question I have wanted to ask for many years."

"And what is that?"

"When did you and the Caretaker meet for the very first time?"

Sarek took a sharp breath and hoped that his wife had not noticed. He looked at his wife, knowing that he could not say anything. But he also could not tell her, the woman he cherished and cared more for than his own life, everything, or could he? The Vulcan thought over the problem and made a decision: She should know except for a few parts she would not miss.

"You really want to know? All right. It was during the time I was the ambassador on Terra, the year I met you for the first time. Several other members of the diplomatic corps and I were on a trip to negotiations on a planet no one really knew...

- END -


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